


He Owns a Toyshop: The Five Stages of Realisation

by WhiteFireDaydreams



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Boffins - Freeform, First Dates, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, Modern AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:29:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28388553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteFireDaydreams/pseuds/WhiteFireDaydreams
Summary: Bofur owns a...toyshopbut how long will it take for Bilbo to realise exactly what kind he means? In retrospect, he should have noticed sooner.
Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Bofur
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	1. Red Flags

Their first date was lovely. They got coffee- Bilbo got tea but that was beside the point- and drank it in the park. Bofur made him laugh and bought bread to feed to the ducks. Well, they tried to feed it to the ducks but Bofur's jokes and their loud laughter didn’t seem to be a selling point as far as the mallards were concerned.

Biblo giggled as they walked away from the duck pond, Bofur swinging half a loaf back and forth. "So, do you want some bread?"

He huffed out another laugh. "I'm sure you can finish that off."

Bofur snorted. "Oh definitely. I just thought it polite to ask. Can't have you be jealous of the deliciously cheap bread I'm nibbling on."

Bilbo smiled and hit his arm jokingly. "If you're hungry we can get some proper food."

"Bread is proper food." He gasped dramatically. "Are you a food gor met?"

“Gourmet,” he corrected. "I am rather fond of some good food. It runs in the family."

"Mine too! My brother is _the best _chef."__

__Bilbo hummed disapprovingly. "You haven't tasted my cooking."_ _

__He grinned. "Is that an invitation?"_ _

__"If you don't turn out to be a bore by the end of this date, I think it could be."_ _

__"Well, in that case. I'll wait till after dinner to tell you about my stamp collection." He gave Bilbo a wink and took hold of Bilbo's arm. Linking them together as they walked. "Where is your favourite place to eat around here?"_ _

__"Hmm..." he thought for a moment. "There's a lovely restaurant called The Silver Fox. Where do you like to eat?"_ _

__"I mean, I'm quite happy with fish and chips. If I'm entirely honest..." He looked a bit bashful as he admitted it._ _

__"Well, may I treat you to some _very _fancy fish and chips?"___ _

____"Oh, Bilbo you don't have to-"_ _ _ _

____"I'd like to. Besides, you bought the bread."_ _ _ _

____He chuckled. "Well, in that case, next time is on me."_ _ _ _

____"If there is a next time, you stamp collecting, fish and chipper."_ _ _ _

____Bofur threw his head back with a barking laugh this time, squeezing Bilbo's arm after. "Says the food snob."_ _ _ _

____"I just like good food, I don't see any snobbery in that."_ _ _ _

____Bofur's smile was bright as he squeezed his arm again. "Well, then, lead the way."_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Bilbo had felt guilty to see Bofur feeling uncomfortable in the fancier setting of the restaurant but his jokes about not knowing what to do with half a loaf were hilarious. Bilbo was now holding his hand under the table as they looked at the menus._ _ _ _

____"There anything you like?"_ _ _ _

____Bofur hummed. "It all sounds good. Might just have a starter though."_ _ _ _

____Bilbo squeezed his hand and their eyes met. "Don't look at the price, just choose what you like. I'm paying."_ _ _ _

____"But it's so expensive, what on earth do you do for a living?"_ _ _ _

____"Well, I'm an Archaeologist, it doesn't pay badly and I'm teaching at the moment."_ _ _ _

____Bofur's smile turned dopey. "Are you saying you could keep me in the manner I'm not accustomed to?"_ _ _ _

____He giggled a little. "I'm hardly loaded, but I'm definitely not in financial trouble."_ _ _ _

____He sighed dreamily. "My hero." The two laughed a little. "All of that aside, Archaeology, I bet that's interesting."_ _ _ _

____"Oh it is. I'd love to do some more digs this summer. I haven't done any in quite a while."_ _ _ _

____"Were you digging up kings and their concubines?"_ _ _ _

____"Afraid it's nothing as exciting. Mainly pottery and the occasional arrow head."_ _ _ _

____"God, I'd love to see those. Antiques are fascinating."_ _ _ _

____Bilbo smiled. "They are! I have photos of them." He pulled his phone out. "If you'd like to see them."_ _ _ _

____Bofur grinned and put his menu down. "Of course I do!"_ _ _ _

____Bilbo found a good photo of one of the axe heads after it had been cleaned off properly. "Here." He handed his phone over the table to him. "That's what it looked like in the museum it's being held at. It was far less pristine when we found it."_ _ _ _

____"That's some intense carving." Her remarked as he handed his phone back. "Never tried carving stone but without power tools it wouldn't be easy."_ _ _ _

____"You carve things?"_ _ _ _

____"Mhm." He nodded and took his phone out of his pocket. "Wood mainly, I've tried working with porcelain but my cousin is the expert with both." He handed his phone over this time._ _ _ _

____Bilbo took it and looked at the image of a carved wooden bird with its wings outstretched. "Bofur, it's beautiful."_ _ _ _

____He was smiling a bit bashfully. "Thank you. Scroll left and you'll see Bif's bird. It puts mine to shame."_ _ _ _

____The next thing wasn't a picture but a video, when he hesitated Bofur nodded for him to watch it. The bird was elegantly carved and the outstretched wings were being moved by a pair of hands turning a small handle. "That's amazing. He made that by hand?"_ _ _ _

____Bofur nodded proudly as he took his phone back. "He makes all sorts but I think that's one of my favourites."_ _ _ _

____"I'd love to see more of them, someday soon.." he picked up his menu again as a waiter came over to the table._ _ _ _

____"Are you ready to order?"_ _ _ _

____"Oh, yeah, sure."_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____ _ _

____The food was lovely, as always, and he was sure Bofur had enjoyed it as much as he had. There was a part of their conversation Bilbo had barely paid attention to at the time but later he realised he should have._ _ _ _

____"I'm sorry, I haven't even asked you what you do."_ _ _ _

____Bofur's nervous laughter had Bilbo frowning. "Ah, yeah.. 'Spose I ought to tell you. I, uh, own a-" he cleared his throat. "- _toy _shop."___ _ _ _

______He frown eased. "You own your own shop, that's really incredible."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Yeah, I'm proud of it. Just, I know that those kinds of _toys _aren't the sorts of things many people are alright talking about. Especially not in a posh cafe on a date."___ _ _ _ _ _

________Bilbo remembered Bofur mentioning that Bifur made the kind of dolls some people had a phobia of earlier on and assumed that's what he was talking about. "Of course it isn't the sort of thing for everyone but I don't see any shame in it."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Really? Well, I'm glad it doesn't bother you." Bofur smiled as he prodded his food a bit._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Of course, I mean, it isn't the sort of thing I'd buy for myself but each to their own."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Ah, I see." He had a mysteriously mischievous smile Bilbo couldn't quite place. "I'll try to not to wave them in your face too often."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Now, I said I wouldn't buy any, I didn't say I had no interest in them."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Bofur's smile was bordering on smug or flirtatious now, possibly both. "I'll keep that in mind." His wink had flustered Bilbo, and prompted him to clear his throat and change the subject._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________His only other regret from that night was that he hadn't kissed him when they finally said good night._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	2. Close Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drinking with friends and is Bofur about to spill the beans?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long, I've been in an art crazy phase and I couldn't for the life of me chose a chapter name so I'm just going for this. If you can think of anything better let me know! And as always, I hope you enjoy ;)

Bilbo had to agree, Bombur was an amazing cook and although Bofur's friends weren't Bilbo's company of choice every night, he did get along with most of them pretty well. So a night sat in Balin's living room was a good night. Bofur was sat next to him with Bilbo's hand in his and his other waving a beer around as he laughed at his own jokes.

"Would you like something to drink?" Balin asked and Bilbo nodded.

"Could I be a pain and ask for tea? I have a feeling I'm going to be making sure he gets home tonight."

Balin smiled. He was one of the people Bilbo really did get on with very well. "No trouble at all."

"I don't need looking after. Not unless you're into that." He said with a grin as Bilbo blushed.

"You were just saying you were going to start on the rum." Bilbo protested weakly.

"You don't want me to drink more?"

"No, no.. I just, I just thought one of us ought to be able to drive home."

"You're welcome to stay on the sofa." Balin said, handing the tea over. "Although from the way Fili and Kili have been going for it you might have to fight them for it."

"Thank you, but I'd prefer to head home."

"Ah, so you do want to take advantage of me while I'm drunk." Bilbo hit Bofur's chest as him and Nori cackled like idiots.

"Stop that! You're as mature as ever."

Nori took Bofur's beer. "Better get that rum down you. Need to get you smashed so you can get some."

"Woo! Thanks Nori!" He put an arm around Bilbo and squeezed him. "You're the best," he whispered in Bilbo's ear.

He laughed. "You're such a child when you're tipsy." He said fondly.

"Hmmmm, you're so lovely." Bofur pressed a kiss against Bilbo's cheek

Balin chuckled. "No getting frisky on my sofa."

"Can't help it. He's too cute." Bofur then rested his head on Bilbo's shoulder and pressed his lips against his neck.

Nori came back with Thorin both holding many shot glasses. "Damn it, I thought we were at least going to do a couple shots before you two started."

Bilbo pushed Bofur so he was sitting up straight. "Can't disappoint Nori." He said, proddling Bofur playfully.

"Alright," he said with a grin before he leaned in and kissed Bilbo again. Then he got up and joined in the ridiculous amount of shots that were then poured and downed.

Meanwhile Bilbo had a nice chat with Ori and Balin about whether Dwalin's "Baby" he kept talking about was a new partner _or _a new pet. The discussion was rather hilarious and could be debated for far longer than they should have been able to. There was a louder than necessary call of "Bilbo!" And looking up Bofur was pointing at him. "-thinks that I.. sound like a child."__

__Kili sniggered. "You do!"_ _

__"Hah, come on, would a child-" Bofur started sniggering and Bilbo noticed that during their Dwalin oriented conversation the lads had drunk all of the rum and started on a large bottle of vodka. "-would a child make dipaaaa... dim..." Bofur seemed to be having trouble finding the word he wanted to, if Bilbo had drunk that much he'd be on the floor. "Di.. fucking toys for a living."_ _

__Kili laughed louder at that. "Speaking of, you got any free samples knocking around?"_ _

__"Kili!" Thorin said, giving his nephew a wack round the back of his head._ _

__"I have plenty, but you'd have to pay."_ _

__Fili laughed loudly. "Then they're not free samples, Bo."_ _

__In Bilbo’s opinion, Bofur, Kili, Nori and Thorin all laughed far more than the joke warranted as Dwalin came into the living room._ _

__Ori gave Bilbo a wink and caught his attention before he was pulled over to the next round of shots. "How's Baby doing?"_ _

__"Not great." He grumbled. "Had to leave her curled up under a blanket. Hopefully, the medicine will work soon."_ _

__Ori tried not to laugh as Dwalin made his way over to the others. "I still can't tell." He giggled and Bilbo laughed along,forgetting the odd jokes the 'lads' filled with vodka were making._ _


End file.
